Tuesday, December 20, 2016


It's good to see someone finally taking on the tough targets. These brave souls risked their jobs and reputations to take on white guys. What balls. Look at me gender appropriating. What nonspecific genitalia that took. These white devils, for so long, lumped people into a box and judged them based on nothing more than the color of their skin. And it's taken generations to rid this country of the awful desire to stereotype people on nothing more than race. I mean, the pure ignorance of those awful white men, and no one else, to judge people on a trait they were born with. It's taken such work to shed this country of racism and there's still a lot of work to go. But once we get those thick headed, white, male idiots to stop looking at the world through the prism of race and gender, this world will be a better place.
Now, as a Disabled American, let me defend these white pigs. Maybe they're actually like every other group of people. Maybe they're just a group of individuals that are being lumped into a box based on their race and the actions of only a portion of that group. Maybe it's wrong to judge them based purely on their race since that's what minorities have been fighting toward for centuries. Maybe if we're too cowardly to make videos like this, scolding women or black men, we shouldn't do it to anyone. But it seems more fun to become everything we thought was wrong about that group. It's easier to talk down to this group because it won't impact our jobs or reputations. It's less complicated to continue dividing people by dividing racial lines further, rather than try to erase them.
I acknowledge the struggles of minority groups in this country. I also don't think it's necessary for the white executives at MTV to coddle these groups. By making this video and not putting out the same for other groups, it does one of two things. Either white men are the only group in this country with flaws and it's okay to target and stereotype them. Or other groups are so weak that it's up to these white MTV execs to coddle and protect them. So either stop being self-hating white people who need to be white knights for everyone else. Or realize that if you don't like when a group marginalizes and talks down to you, maybe it's not how any of us should behave.

UPDATE-They took the original video down so if you didn't get to see it, here it is with some guys commentary mixed in.

Monday, December 12, 2016


A lot of Patriots fans are looking for blood today. They want the Steelers punished as harshly as the Patriots were for deflated footballs. They want Roethlesberger persecuted, the way the GOAT was. They want a full scale investigation that results in the tarnishing of a franchise and their quarterback, no matter how undeserved it may be. I don't want any of that. I feel that Tom Brady was a martyr for this cause. He accepted the incredible wrong that was done unto him, so no man would have to suffer the same fate. All I want is this. I want the media and the league to get down on their knees, like the filthy whores they are, and admit we were right.
We nailed it Patriots fans. For almost two years we've been called self obsessed, cocky, egomaniacs with an inferiority complex. All because we made one simple point. Deflategate never would've happened with any other team. We heard clowns like Bart Hubbach tell us to just sit back and take it. No oe is out to get us. The league was just doing it's job. But when another historic franchise breaks the exact same rule, it's barely a story an hour later.
A rational thinker would think the media has two options. Go after the Steelers with the same passion with which they went after the Patriots. Have Mark Brunell weep on camera talking about deflated footballs. Have Bill Polian tell us it's a worse offense than steroid use. Line up the idiots who cheered on Goodell for suspending Brady, and have them demand the same of Big Ben. Or your other option. Admit entities like ESPN have never been interested in journalistic integrity. But instead are out to sensationalize what should be non-stories in the interest of grabbing ratings and pushing the agenda of their daddy, the NFL.
The easiest part about meeting my request is, we all already know this. No one thinks the media has any interest in reporting actual news. We live in a world where stories about reality TV stars make headlines on CNN. But as any addict will tell you the first step is admitting you have a problem. So get this monkey off your back. Stop living the lie that ESPN is out to report accurate news and Roger Goodell just has the best interest of the league at heart. The truth will set you free kids. It's okay to gang up against the cool kids. Just admit it's what you're doing.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016


Boy am I happy today. As a Red Sox fan I'm usually bitching about the team or bashing the manager. But today was a great day. I will say, it's sad the Mayor of Ding Dong City, Travis Shaw has been recalled. But they got good value for him. And the big deal I LOVE. Chris Sale is a true ace. Not the David Price, Ace Light we had to drink last year. Sale is a jersey cutting kook who wants to anchor a staff. With Pretty Ricky Porcello coming off a Cy Young, you can push Price back to the 3 starter and the pressure is off that mental midget. I start Porcello on Opening Day but arguing about which Cy Young candidate to start where is a good place to be. The Mets, Cubs and Giants might stand in the way of the Red Sox being the best staff in baseball. But in the on paper, in the American League, no one is close after this move.
The people against this deal love making every prospect out to be the next whoever. My rule is I don't judge these guys until I watch them, which usually isn't until they hit the majors. The two guys you heard about most were Benintendi and Moncada. When Benintendi got here, he immediately proved he can play. When Moncada got here, he fed into the stereotype that the Cuban players that come over are physically beasts but lack the fundamentals and baseball skills. It's becoming hard to trust a lot of the Cuban born guys. You can twist that into a Donald Trump statement if you'd like, but the evidence is there. It's not a giant sample size but I hate to remind people of what the Red Sox thought Rousney Castillo would be.
Now, I'm purposely being unfair to the kid to prove my point. Moncada was barely up here and didn't have a real defined role when he was. He could end up being great. But I've learned something a lot of baseball fans refuse to acknowledge. The guys you can't miss prospects, usually can miss. From Craig Hanson to Ryan Kalish to Ryan Lavarnway, Garin Cechini, Daniel Bard, Will Middlebrooks, Ruby De La Rosa and on and on. Maybe it's just my weak peepers but you can't find those guys anywhere. All of whom were once can't miss guys. There are many others whose names I couldn't think of. That should tell you all you need to know about them. Chris Sale is an ace. A superstar that will absolutely help the Red Sox win in the playoffs. I don't mind giving up on the dream of a prospect to get that guy here.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016


We lost the great Patrice O'Neal 5 years ago today. As often happens with artists and entertainers, we appreciate them  more  after they die. But even still, Patrice was part of some of the greatest Opie and Anthony bits and underappreciated stand up that many people still aren't familiar with. So And I've been lazy on the blog since I had a death in my own family. So, since I'm feeling nostalgic, I figured I'd use today to turn some people on to some of Patrice's best shit. Some of these are a long listen so come back to them when you've got a minute.

Bobo Up and Down Game
Greatest laugh ever. Opie and Anthony had this guy Bobo in studio. They discovered that when you describe any sex related activity with a woman, Bobo got hard as a rock. When you started to talk about the Mets, 12 to 6. Talk about a woman again, fully erect, immediately. Patrice's reaction was legendary.

What's a Sport
The debate of what constitutes a sport is almost hack at this point. But Patrice's take on how to make fringe sports into actual sports. His idea to turn things like golf and bowling into real sports is brilliant and I'm surprised a channel like Spike hasn't tried it yet.

Harassment Day
Elephant In The Room was an awesome special. This was probably my favorite bit from that. Something that will probably be taken as sexist in our new world but the brilliance with how he approaches topics like that is so unique.

High Quality White Women
The basic idea of this bit has been done before but that's the genius of guys lie Patrice. No topic is hack or played out if you're able to put an original spin on it. And the balls it took to allow an entire bit to be hinged on the whole crowd not knowing that second woman's name, that alone makes it a classic.

Patrice Speaks For Funny
So about 9 years ago Opie and Anthony got suspended for having a homeless guy in studio who said ridiculous shit. This was right around when Imus got fired and radio suddenly became a forum where you couldn't say anything. Even satellite radio, which started as a free space to say anything, started to police language. Patrice O'Neal came out in their defense. What he did was the most masterful defense of comedy I've ever witnessed. He made a feminist who said rape is never funny, laugh at a rape joke. Tre genius at work.

BONUS-The Day After Patrice Died
If you're a Patrice fan and never listened to this, you should. It's Opie and Anthony the day after Patrice died with Jim Norton, Colin Quinn, Bill Burr, Robert Kelly, Joe Rogen, Amy Schumer Dave Attell and a bunch of others just telling stories. It's how I hope people treat my death. People who loved me but are able to shit on me, remembering me for the shithead I am.

So if you never saw these, I hope you liked them. If you didn't know of Patrice I hope I turned you on to him. And if you read this whole thing and just think I'm a douche, that sound about right.

Friday, November 18, 2016


VIDEO-Tim Miller Owes This Guy 10 Grand After Trump Win
First of all, I apologize I couldn't embed this video. Click the link above. I'm blind, get off my ass. So anyways, the gist of this video is that Tim Miller, former supporter of Jeb Bush who railed against Donald Trump's nomination and was so confident Trump would lose that he offered to bet anyone 1,000 bucks. This guy, @Overtongringo on Twitter took him up on it as long as he got 10 to 1 odds. Tim Miller accepted and to show he was serious, this Overtongringo sent Miller a check for the full thousand, post dated two days after the election. The video is very well done and shows that this wasn't just some Twitter argument. It was a legitimate bet. And I don't know how things would've been under Hillar. But in Trump's America, ya pay your debts bitch.

Now I'm not a huge Trump guy, I didn't vote for him. But I'm very much in favor of justice being served in the form of pestering the shit out of people until they do what's right. Typically, Twitter trolls have no purpose and are just annoying. But every once in a great while they find a cause to rally around that can really do some good. So tweet @Timodc and remind him that a bet is a bet. Remind him that in gambling, there is no sure thing. And you never give odds you can't make good on.


A travesty went down last night. Mike Trout won the MVP over the best player in baseball in 2016, Mookie Betts . I may have to go Kate Upton on this one. My man has been wronged and I need to stand by him. Any coincidence that a young black man was wronged in Trump's America? I think not. Call in Jackie Chiles. Round up all the hipsters you know that are all cried out over Hillary Clinton and send them down to MLB Headquarters. Finally that racist city of Boston allowed a man of color on the field and this is how he's treated. This isn't the America I want my kids to up cleaning up fin.
Now that I've established I could take Dan Le Batard's job in a heartbeat, I'll admit Mike Trout may eventually go down as the greatest player of all time. And if he played on any less of a disaster than the Angels, he'd have 5 MVP's right now. But that's just the problem. His team stinks. And if you put up Barry Bonds at the peak of his skull expansion type numbers, I'm okay with you winning. But when the numbers are pretty much equal, I give it to the guy who made the playoffs over the guy who finished 20 games back. He made the All Star game as a leadoff hitter and ended the season cleaning up for the greatest DH of All Time. He's the best defensive player in baseball. He had more clutch moments than Trout. He just had more of an impact this year than Trout. It's tough to blame Trout for being on a shit team in a sport where one guy can't carry you. And I watched almost every game Mookie played and almost none of Trout's. And Ortiz definitely took votes away from him. But like my race baiting brethren, I'm not going to let facts cloud my argument. So I hope these privileged, white writers writers will realize the error of their ways. Mookie's the MVP in these weak eyes.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016


Further evidence Tom Brady is an innocent man. You don't see Peyton Manning doing Papa John's commercials mocking his sexual assault claims... Alright, they'd really have to shoehorn that in and it probably wouldn't move many pies. But point made. Usually people aren't so quick to make light of something if they're actually guilty. Ok, OJ did write a book called If I Did It. But are all the immediate examples I think of that disprove my point making me any less confident. No sir. And that's the real key. It's not a lie, if you believe it.
Now I obviously don't think Tom Brady is guilty of everything that was claimed. But it's become part of the narrative when people talk about the GOAT. A lot of people would run and hide from this. And based off his interaction with the media, it looked like TB12 mighta been one of those guys. So it's good to see him fuck around like this. Embracing something takes the power away from everyone who wants to attack you for it. So good work as always Tommy. Deny til ya die brother. But keep making fun of yourself.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016


Brendan Dassey is getting out of jail. This poor idiot became the only person our PC world has deemed it okay to call retarded. And while there was a lot of debate as to how accurate the Making a Murderer series when it came to Stephen Avery, everyone agreed this rube wasn't clever enough to tie his own shoes. Never mind cover up a murder. But Brendan has a lot of catching up to do. That was the case before he did 10 years in jail. So now he's really behind the 8 ball. I'll explain that expression to him later.

1. Look up the definition of Consistent
When Brendan left us, I think it was before the first iPhone. Or certainly before they were delivered by horse to Manitowoc County. Now Brendan can just ask Google or Siri the definition of thousands of words. Rather than his mom, who was clearly no help. Now Brendan may think, but won't I have to learn how to spell these words first. Rest easy champ. With voice recognition, spelling is a thing of the past.

2. Download Tinder
I don't see Brendan getting much response on Bumble. But Tinder may have just the type of low-brow shit Brendan is looking for. Now it is crucial, Brendan, that with this app, you know right from left. So just think to yourself, Yes is the hand I skin cats with. Left is the one I don't.

3. Go to WrestleMania
This one is hack, but necessary. The joy Twitter will feel from the gif's that come from his dumb face enjoying the People's elbow knows no bounds. And yes, I realize me saying People's Elbow was like my mom trying to relate to me through football. But you get my point.

4. Get all forms of social media
Tell me you're not curious about Dassey's thoughts on life. Him live tweeting or periscoping events would be gold. And if it turns out he was guilty, he might just tell us at some point.

5. Run for some type of office
This is Trump's America baby. There are no rules. This dummy could get elected somewhere. He could ru on some type of prison reform platform. Now, I'd guarantee he has no idea what that means. But that's the beauty. Silly things like experience and qualifications are a thing of the past. Dassey 2020 has a nice ring to it.

6. Watch Making a Murderer
Dude, it was so good. You'll love it. It's on Netflix, I'll set you up with an account if you need it. Shhhh everyone. I'm trying to see how many episodes it takes before he realizes what it's about.

Of all the idiots, in all the idiot villages, in all the idiot worlds, the Avery family seemed to stand alone. But jokes aside, it really seemed like this kid didn't do anything and was tricked into confessing. So I think it's a good thing he's out. Now lets just cross our fingers and hope he doesn't take out his revenge on us.

Monday, November 14, 2016


I am so tired of writing about this shit but it keeps happening. There is an Amber Alert out for comedy. It is nowhere to be found because people have lost their minds. Apparently the election results were a tragedy like this country has never seen. So much so that we can't even joke about it. Thank god for Dave Chappelle saving SNL Saturday or you would've seen mass suicides from the depression that set in after that ridiculous open. Now at a charity event, Wanda Sykes tells an arena full of people to go fuck themselves. The crowd, thinking she was a comedian, expected jokes. Instead they received a scolding. Because we all know the key ingredient to key to comedy is giving the crowd a stern talking to.
The one claim Wanda made that I hear a lot but can't wrap my head around is homophobic. You can argue that Trump is a racist or sexist in whichever direction you'd like. But I don't think he's ever said anything homophobic. But I guess it's just fun to add things on. But look beyond the content of what she said. I'm looking for the humor and I can't find it anywhere. The comedy world has been given a gift like they've never seen with Donald Trump actually being our President. If you can't make that funny, get off the stage. Especially at a charity event. People aren't there to see a sermon. It's not your job as a comic to reprimand people who didn't vote they way you wanted. I'm sick of the whining. George Carlin and Richard Pryor are the greatest ever because they talked about real issues but were able to make it funny. They didn't do it by yelling at the audience.
Now I've heard Nick DiPaolo got some heat as well. If there's video, send it my way but I haven't seen it yet. So I'm just basing this on listening to Nick for years and having seen him live. I would bet good money that the quotes from Nick, included in articles written about this, shouldn't be read in the tone they're framed in. Stand-up doesn't translate to paper. Nick's entire act is saying offensive shit, but making it hilarious. Something that used to be a staple of comedy. But instead, you'll hear Wanda praised for what she said and did, and Nick called a racist, sexist pig. Claims we love throwing around now. It's like when the doctor hits your knee to test your reflexes. We kick out a label of the most horrible shit you can call someone, and that's just what they are now. Without dissecting context or tone.
So in that spirit, I'll give Wanda the benefit of the doubt. We only get the last few seconds of her set in this clip. I don't know what lead to it. But when you hear people call her brave and progressive and label Dipaolo a bigot, ask them if they're doing the same.

PS-I heard Bill Burr got the show back on track and killed. Of course he did. He's the greatest.

Sunday, November 13, 2016


Rest in Peace Hillary Clinton. I thought her death would've been much bigger news but SNL was the first place I heard about it. Actually that's not true. Miley Cyrus and a few hysterically crying college kids told me, but I didn't believe it. But the official last rights were read on SNL last night.Some think this open was just because she lost the election. That can't be true. SNL has mocked a lot of elections and they always have a funny open about the outcome. So this must be different. Someone must have died. In fact, one death wouldn't warrant this melodramatic wrist cutting session. The only time they've put on this type of AJ Soprano, woe is me act  is after 9/11. Now I don't know if you kids ever heard about 9/11, but it was a rough day. Some might say, it hurt as much as two Hillary losses in one day. Alright, it wasn't that bad, but it was rough. So whatever tragedy was done unto Hillary Clinton, rivaled the worst tragedy in this country's history.
Listen, I didn't vote for anyone. So I don't know what it's like to have my team lose. And I live in MA so you can't blame me. But when did Hillary Clinton become a Goddess that died on the cross for freedom. To get into a bathtub and open a vein over a politician losing an election. I won't even be one of those guys who lists her flaws. This is over the top for anyone. I love my mom but when she dies you won't see me playing piano singing Ave Maria.
SNL has made their political leanings obvious for years. And honestly I'm fine with that. I'd like everyone to trash both sides the way they deserve but that'll never happen. Everyone has their biases. It's one thing to hint at which side you favor. But I remember Romney and McKaine losing. You guys at SNL made fun of them. Plenty voted fr and supported them. I don't remember the episode where they held a candlelight vigil and got on their knees and wept for them. She's a politician. They're very rarely great people and there's plenty of evidence Hillary is even worse than a lot of them. To get under the covers and sob like this childish and sad.
The last line of this disaster is, I haven't given up and neither should you. Ya know, the line motivational speakers give to cancer patients and disaster survivors. It's now applied to someone losing an election. My generation turned on this episode to watch a legend host and see an open bashing Trump. Even Dave Chappelle's monologue felt a little preachy but he was making jokes. The open was just losing sight of what you are. They've gone from a comedy show that comments on the tone of the country, to believing they're campaigning for Democrats and making a difference. Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe a melodramatic, self indulgent song is the way every comedy show should open.They just won't have me watching.

Friday, November 11, 2016


As someone who has dealt with actual depression, if you threaten to kill yourself over who is President, please do it. Don't tease us. Wipe yourself off this planet. Because if you're childish enough to, as an adult, break down in tears, threaten suicide and post it to the internet, over a politician winning an election, this world has no time for you. You're a child who has been given everything they want by mommy and daddy and told you're special.
The people crying over Trump winning are exactly why Trump won. People are tired of America needing to be a safe space. And the complete dismissal of people who feel that way is why Trump was able to gain support no matter what ridiculous shit came out of his mouth. People need to stop being so concerned with scolding people who don't use the exact right pronouns, adjectives, prefixes, suffixes, and acronyms, and focus on intent. Have a real discussion with someone and find out what they mean before you label them a racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic monsters.
There are hateful pieces of shit out there. But lumping everyone in who doesn't use the language you prefer as a racist, devalues the word completely. If you voiced your points without breaking down in tears, crying bigotry or demanding firings, people would respect you. Curling up into a ball an saying your safe space is being invaded, just because you saw Vote Trump written on a chalk board makes you look silly.
It's not entirely your fault though, kids. Colleges are not only allowing this silly horseshit, but encouraging it. College students around the country could skip class this week, if they weren't mentally ready to handle the election results. Not because they went to war or saw a head in their freezer. Because a man they didn't vote for won an election. In the end college students are just kids trying to be adults. They think they look smart and progressive and just have the misfortune of growing up in the internet age. The real crime is these colleges enabling them.
It's perfectly valid for people to be pissed Trump won. It's even okay for some people to be a little scared. But acting like a toddler who had their toy taken away, allows no one to respect you. Your opinion will never be heard through the tears and snot bubbles. So splash some water on your face, take a deep breath, and do this.
And Coppola really should've written Act like and adult. I hope this didn't trigger anyone.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016


I realize every hippy and stoner has made the argument for legalized weed for decades. But as a resident of Massachusetts, today may be my last chance. So just let me have my fun. The polls that are out there show a landslide victory for recreational weed. The thing I'm still baffled by is, the people that care enough to go out and vote No.
Really a tribute to that guys acting that he was able to pull off that scene while he was diddling kids. But the opposition you usually hear is not against weed itself. It's the gateway drug. mantra. Which I actually agree with. But not in the use of drugs. In the selling. I know plenty of kids who sold weed in high school and college. some of them, whether because of the money, lifestyle or pressure, moved on to sell actual drugs. I don't know anyone that dove right in to selling coke, but I do know a kid or two that went to jail for it. Having weed legalized eliminates all the kids who start selling pot to make a few bucks or just have it around, and prevents them from going down that rabbit hole. I also know drug addicts who are just out of it now. None of their vices were weed. I've seen many kids just out of it because of booze and pills. I've never met a weed addict who couldn't stop smoking if they needed to.
At this point, I'm probably making a straw man argument. Every time this comes up, people say, it's not as bad as booze or cigarettes. And no one in my generation is really against it. But I feel the benefits of it are also worth mentioning. It will bring in tax revenue and you won't have people in jail for a crime 15 year olds commit. There are still people sitting in a jail in Denver for something that's now legal there.
I can't imagine I did much to convince anyone that didn't already have their mind made up. But on a day where we have to decide between the giant douche and shit sandwich, I just couldn't write another Trump blog. So if you're in MA or one of the other states with recreational marijuana on the ballot, vote Yes. Then we can all get too high to care which monster is in office, together.

Monday, November 7, 2016


Every election we hear this message of Just Vote. It's entire message seems lazy. It doesn't matter how much effort you put into learning the facts or your passion behind a candidate, just mindlessly vote. It's a motto that should've gone with American Idol voting or the MLB All Star game. Not when selecting the most powerful leader on the planet. Every 4 years that I've been alive, I've heard two things. Like clockwork, people say, This is the most important election this country has ever had, and, Just get out and vote. So no matter your ignorance, just help make a decision on this supposedly really important thing. And none of us really have a say. Call that a defeatist attitude, but the day an election goes one way because I stayed home, I'll start to change my tune.
Both sides admit Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are the worst pair of candidates we've ever had. Yet I'm an asshole, not doing my civic duty for not picking one of them. I'm closest to being a libertarian if I had to pick a party. But Gary Johnson is another moron I can't vote for. No one showing up to the polls tomorrow would send a greater message about the system than some pothead stealing a few thousand votes from the two circus freaks we've chosen as candidates.
If you're passionate about one of the candidates, or more likely, passionately against one, go vote. If you feel you know the issues and who you support, have a ball. But the idea that every asshole with an ID should vote is just childish. As a man who interacts with the dregs of society that make up public transportation, I assure you, there are plenty of people that shouldn't have a say tomorrow.
And if you kind of agree with me but still want to feel like you made a difference tomorrow, I have a solution. In the state of Massachusetts, vote Yes on question 4. Once that goes through, we'll all be a little less worked up about this shit.

Monday, October 31, 2016


Jamie Collins was traded for, what will essentially be, a 4th round pick. I'm going to skip the part where I call Belichick an idiot who doesn't know what he's doing, then in 3 months realize that I'm, in fact, the idiot for ever doubting him. It's happened too many times from Richard Seymour to Wes Welker to Mankins, Revis and so many others. I absolutely question the fact that they couldn't have gotten more in return. The guy was a beast who many, including me, thought he could eventually be the best linebacker in football. But we'll probably soon find that we all overrated him, Bill saw something we didn't, and we're all dummies. The definition of insanity is making the same mistake over and over and expecting a different result. I'm done making the insane decision of doubting Wild Bill, when he makes these seemingly ridiculous moves. The only thing it makes me wonder is, will the GOAT be next.
Jamie Collins is not Tom Brady. I'm not making that comparison. He's still the best guy at the most important position in sports. But when you look at the list of guys that everyone among fans and media still had a lot left, but Bill saw they didn't, what makes us think he views Tom any differently. To us he's a God that can't be touched. He's an adult man who wears Ugg's and eats avocado ice cream and we still admire him. He's a man who inspired a year and a half social media assault on anyone with the letters E-S-P-N in their bio, just for questioning him. He's a man with a jaw so chiseled...sorry, I'm getting myself worked up. Anyways, point being, he's all those things to fans, but Belichick keeps showing us, he doesn't think that way.
Every time this comes up people say, Brady's the one guy. But Jamie Collins is regarded as one of the best linebackers in football. You'll hear that spun differently the next few days, but it's true. Ty Law and Darrelle Revis were at the top of the league in corners when they each left the Patriots. Seymour, one of the best defensive ends, Welker, the best slot guy and so on. My point is, if this maniac/genius has made a decision on what he thinks Jimmy G is, we may be witnessing the final year and a half of Tom Brady. .
Maybe I'm overreacting but after last year, I thought Jamie Collins would be the centerpiece of that defense for 10 years. No way they'd let that guy go. But as most people do, Bill saw something I didn't. It seems silly to think a guy like that cares about the sentimental value of letting Tom finish his career here on his terms. You can call me an idiot if you want but really I'm a sage hero, trying to ease you into a life without Tom.


Kirk and Callahan's interview with Tim Hasselbeck

The media, as a whole, is terrible. Things are constantly misreported and under-researched constantly, for the sake of being the first to report the story and sensationalizing. I believe that was Tim Hasselbeck's point. Here's where he went wrong. Instead of attacking the reports, he came off as attacking Molly Brown. He seemed offended by the fact that Kirk, Callahan and Mut had the audacity to believe her and the reports that are out there. This idiotic blogger made a point in two sentences that he stuttered and stammered around and was never able to get to.
I may be giving Tim too much credit in thinking that was his point. A lot of the fans seemed to think he was tap dancing around calling Molly Brown a liar. And with the vague, incoherent answers he gave, it's hard to say he wasn't. I do understand that in our PC culture, it's hard for a guy, especially an ESPN employee, to say, hey maybe she's lying. Because even if you have facts to back you up, you'll be portrayed as a sexist victim shaming bully and it will probably cost you your job. But by saying the things in this interview, he basically did say she's lying, while still managing to look like a coward by not being honest or defending his point.
He did nothing to help himself in this interview. He took a side of the argument it's very hard to win with. He did it half assed and without offering any facts we weren't aware of. And he came off as a guy defending his brother's buddy, rather than looking into what really happened. You can't just paint a picture of us buying into a lie and you knowing facts if you're too scared to bring them up. It was basically a high school argument where Kirk and Callahan hit him with facts and Tim basically responded, Oh you think so huh.
It was weird to listen to. And I think the guys did a very good job of not moving on and forcing him to answer things he just wasn't willing to. It will be interesting to see if he gets any heat for it. And I do want to be clear. As awful as I think Tim sounded in this, I'll absolutely defend his right to say it and keep his job. I can't imagine it would get to that level but it's happened to people for similar types of statements, so ya never know. But it was definitely interesting radio. Give it a listen. Link is above if you didn't notice. I like to help out my blind brothers.

Thursday, October 27, 2016


SOURCE-In greater Boston, Mort was placed on the Deflategate enemies list alongside the likes of Kravitz and league apparatchik Mike Kensil. “His reputation is shattered,” WEEI’s Kirk Minihane wrote in a typical bazooka blast. Florio said of Pats fans, “I don’t expect them to ever believe anything the guy ever says again.” Mort remained Zen. “He was very calm about all this,” Schefter said. “If that were me, I would have been a basket case.”
Mort’s cool began to melt only when he started to get a number of death threats. “What bothered me is we’re in an era where if your wife goes onto social media, she basically reads that they want you to die,” Mort said. “Even after I got cancer, I got some death wishes.”
This isn't an attack on a sick man. As a human being, I hope Mort is well. But as a reporter, he fucked up. I don't like this spin that Patriots fans went own to the chemo ward and kicked rocks at him. Deflategate started, BECAUSE OF MORT, long before he announced his diagnoses. And maybe this is the fault of the writer, but he used this story as a chance to play the victim. And good for him. If I were in the spot, I'd be rolling out in a wheelchair with a Teddy Roosevelt quilt over my legs, just to shame all the dicks that came after me. But the thing that bothered me was the constant over dramatization of the term death threats.
An asshole, anonymous Twitter egg saying, I'm gonna kill you, is not a legitimate death threat. People don't publicly confess to crimes before they go through with them. What those are, are hyperbolic douchebags with a lot of time on their hans. I have friends and relatives that claim they're gonna kill me every time I speak. And those pussies haven't done a thing yet. The type of maniac that would act out a murder over a football report isn't going to give you a head start.
Patriots fans, me included, reacted harshly to Mort's fuck up. And anyone with a functioning heart felt, at least a little bad the day he announced he had cancer. But normal people laid off at that point. I'm tired of SkankHunt69 being lumped in with regular people. If you use a fake name, your tweets shouldn't be included in a report on CNN. Our society responds to teenagers and creeps on the internet as if it's Walter Cronkite telling us Kennedy was shot.
I'm guilty of it too. Someone will call me a blind fuck or tell me I'm an idiot and I'll actually argue with them. Then I look and realize I'm arguing with someone using Mel Gibson as their Twitter picture with 17 followers. It is a strange world we're living in and a lot of people don't know how to handle it. But there have been 0 cases of @DeeeezNutz following through on beating anyone's ass. Until then, let's relax with worrying about these helf hearted death threats.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016


SOURCE-Left-wing students at the University of California, Berkeley are protesting again. This time, however, these students are calling for “safe spaces” for transgendered people, as well as “spaces of color” at the University (which they already have).

Boy there is no irony in the fact that these snot nosed brats are only harassing white students huh. That's the biggest problem with this generation of college twats. They've become what they think they hate. They discriminate against a group of people, purely based on the color of their skin. The craziest part is that it's mostly white liberals who feel superior to the groups they pretend to be advocating for. It's guilty whites who pander to minorities because they think they need to be coddled. There is no safer space in the history of time for a minority or transgendered person than a college in California in 2016. But these kids need to make noise, even though they have othing to yell about.
Look, white people in this country were terrible for a long time. We don't have the greatest reputation when it comes to race relations. But no kid in college right now helped institute Jim Crowe laws. The answer to everyone being equal is not throwing hate at a new group of people just because they haven't gotten enough of it. By doing that, you're no better than the ignorant assholes you claim to hate. By shaming everyone who doesn't use the adjectives you like or asks questions you're not comfortable with you bring any chance of a progressive conversation to a complete halt.
Anyone who hates someone for their race, gender or sexuality is a true piece of shit. But those people are now in the minority. The good guys are winning. But that's not good enough for these kids. Back in the day, raging against the machine meant fighting for free speech and equality. Now it's word policing and talking down to people. The kids that want to rebel are really just pissy babies who are mad they have nothing to yell about. If your message is to accept everyone, then accept EVERYONE. And save the hate for those who actually deserve it.

Monday, October 24, 2016


I've always known Joe Rogan was the fuckin' man. I listen to his podcast and he has the ability to make me understand kooks like Jesse Ventura. When I smoke weed, I giggle at an episode of BoJack Horseman and doze off. Joe Rogan does it, is able to articulate why it should be legal, and trains in Jujitsu. He was in a 90's sitcom with Andy Dick and is the voice of UFC. He's a multitalented, interesting dude. But I never was huge on his stand up, until today.
His special, Triggered, came out on Netflix last Friday. I just got to it to night and it's by far his best shit. He talks about all the stuff that annoys me but I'm too dumb to articulate. He breaks down the election in a brilliant way. People will say it's dated because when he filmed it, Bernie was still in the race but if you can relax your mosquito attention span for a minute and realize that, it's still completely relevant. He does a lot of what he's best at, pot talk. Not just talking about weed but the type of shit you think about when you smoke. He does a great job of doing what comedians are supposed to do. It's tough to really review comedy beyond funny or not funny, but I just wanted to turn a few people on to it who may have not known it was out.
Bill Burr-I'm Sorry You Feel That Way and Dave Chappelle-Killing Them Softly are my two favorite specials of all time. So using the scale where those are 10's, I give Joe Rogan-Triggered an 8.4. Really turned me around on his stand up.

-UPDATE-I said Teddy Roosevelt instead of FDR. I'm a true moron.

Thursday, October 20, 2016


As a guy that idolized the type of show Howard Stern once did, I look up to him in a lot of ways. One thing I never respected was the complete fraud he's become. He's been that way for a long time. It's just taken a while for people to notice. There's literally a video of him in black face, dropping N bombs at Robin, as part of a bit. He called Ellen DeGeneres a cunt on many occasions. Now he tells her he loves her dancing and won't use certain naughty language on his program. Artie going in on him like this was long overdue.
I was an Opie and Anthony guy over Stern for a lot of reasons. One big one is the gag order he put on them. In the early 200's when Opie and Anthony were number 1 in the afternoons and bashing Stern, Stern fought back. Usually he was able to crush other shows but O and A were talented enough to go back and forth with him. So, instead of allowing a real rival to develop, Howard cried to his bosses. Something he mocked other shows for. The two shows were on different stations at the time but both were owned by CBS. So Howard demanded the company put a gag order on Opie and Anthony, where they weren't allowed to even utter his name on-air. Years later, when Howard finally admitted it after years of denying it he said he was for free speech. But only his free speech.
Before Anthony got fired, the Opie and Anthony Show were also, ironically, doing a bit called the Apology Clock. Where they would see how long they could make it without a phony apology in response to fake public outrage. They didn't make it a day, during that time. If Howard did anything like that, with a larger audience. it would've been a great attack on the PC Police. Instead he became the type of guy he bashed for years. Someone who loved being part of the Hollywood elite. , it was a great to celebrity parties where he's said awful things about the guests he now calls friends.
Artie Lange was a huge part of Howard's show for years. Now he's been tossed aside like Gilbert, Jackie the joke man Martling, Stuttering John and others. Guys Howard used to build the show, then tossed away when he was done with them. Artie was fiercely loyal to Howard for a long time. Hopefully he's not going off like this for any reason other than being tired of Howard's bullshit. Either way it was long overdue.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016


If you haven't heard, about 200 people walked out of this sold out, 8,000 seat, Amy Schumer show. Apparently it was right around the time of this video, when she went into her Donald Trump stuff. The level of pissy child you have to be to walk out of a show you paid for, strictly because someone talks shit about an asshole politician for 3 minutes is astonishing to me. As a guy who has gone to a lot of comedy shows, I'm guessing the average Amy Schumer ticket goes for no less than 50 bucks. Most probably more like 100, face value. So no one accidentally stumbled in there, thinking they were going to a Bill O'Reilly. event.
The saddest thing is the people who walked out are probably the same people who are up in arms when the PC police get on Trump or manipulate his stories to fit a narrative. They want to be able to say whatever they want free of consequence. But, just like the politically correct phonies they hate, they support free speech, as long as it's their free speech. The second they don't like what you say, they cry, stomp their feet and bash you on social media. Believe me, I'm not shedding a tear for Amy Schumer. She's doing fine. But I'm a guy who loves Patton Oswalt even though I don't agree with all of his views. I think Nick DiPaolo is way too far right, but I went to his show and it was some of the funniest shit ever. Jim Jefferies famous gun bit has some points I disagree with, but I'm about to see him live for the 2nd time in a year. If you lean so far one way that you can't listen to jokes about a stranger, you need to reassess what's important.
The big criticism of Amy, and a lot of female comics is, they just talk about sex. They get laughs because it's shocking to hear a girl talk about her pussy. Well here she is breaking out of that and she still gets shit. And this clip wasn't over the top funny or boring. It was interesting and different. And more importantly, it was two and a half minutes. If you're a fan of someone and pay money to see them then jump ship after 2.5 minutes of something you didn't like, you're a disloyal hunk of shit. There's a lot of weird hatred in our culture toward Amy and female comics in general. I never throw out the term sexist when it's undeserved, unlike the vultures in the media. But it is getting into that territory. Someone like Kevin Hart, who is at or above Amy's fame level and in my opinion, not as funny, doesn't get anywhere near the same hate. They're at the same level of overexposure as well, if not more for Kevin Hart. Yet he's celebrated and Amy is shit on. I just can't figure it out.


Well I'm on no sleep Jerry, NO SLEEP. So last night after the baseball game, I reside to my bedroom. Just outside my bedroom window I hear what sounds like someone being raped or tortured. Or as we Dorchester residents refer to it, Tuesday night. But as much as I want to keep up my bad boy, true to the streets image, I have to confess I live in a decent part of town. So I think, that can't be it.
The noise doesn't stop. Now it's about midnight and it hasn't stopped so I put on my fedora and trench coat and do some investigating. What it turned out to be was a motion censored, cackling witch Halloween decoration. Which, If you live out in the sticks where I grew up, it's cute I guess. If you live in the city, you're the kind of psychopath that would instill fear in Charles Manson. I live on one of the busiest streets in town. Every time a car or person pass by or even a heavy gust of wind, I hear the Wizard of Oz flying monkeys scene outside my window.
So as I lay staring at my celling, trying to remember the formula Walter White used to disintegrate bodies, I realize last night was only October 18. There's at least 12 more nights of this nut reeking havoc on the neighborhood. So I start thinking solutions. I could walk over there and smash it. But with my eyes, at night, I'd no doubt trip on something or kick something over and now I'm in fisticuffs on my neighbors front porch in a Hall of Fame white trash scene. I could call the cops. But I hear snitches get stitches. So after I said Fuck da Police, I put on my Dre Beats, oddly enough, and took the route of the coward.
Eventually every coward reaches his breaking point. We always knew I would snap in spectacular fashion. We just weren't sure what would be the driving force. In due time I'll be talking to Bob Saccomana and watching How to build a bomb videos on YouTube. Now in all seriousness, if some rogue neighborhood hero takes justice into his own hands, I'll have a lot of questions to answer. But for a true Patriot like that, it would be an honor to serve their sentence.

PS-These are obviously jokes. You'd think I wouldn't have to say that but with the Mary's in today's society, I'll be accused of witch shaming or being offensive to Halloween enthusiasts. Don't want them to die. I just want them to never sleep again, then kill themselves.

Thursday, October 13, 2016


This is literally the only thing Brady could've done. If he said anything honest about talk in the locker room, the media would've spun it as Brady is a sexist and supports Trump. The only way Brady gets out of this without any media abuse is if he calls Trump a monster. Because we have two awful candidates for President and you're only allowed to support one. These vultures are DYING for Bray to say anything they can pretend supports Trump so they can continue to paint Tom and the Patriots as an evil organization. H e said nothing and it became a story. Imagine if he told the truth.
Here's an example of a liar. I try not to hate LeBron but every time he speaks, phony bullshit spills out all over the floor. To say women never come up in the locker room is a proven lie. For years women in the media have had difficulty being in sports locker rooms because of the harassment that goes on. Now if you want to say you don't talk about grabbing pussies, that's one thing. Even call Trump an asshole if you want. But get off your fucking high horse LeBron. You're a hairless ass. How dumb do you think we are to believe women never come up when you're dumping champagne on them, grinding up on them after winning a championship. If you want topretend you run a team of choir boys,  control your own locker room you fraud.
Either JR Smith moonlights as a plumber or he loves spreadin' around that dick. Look, this isn't that bad. Actually the girl annoys me more if she posted his private messages. But stop lying LeBron. It obviously comes up when you're talking shit. When public figures try to come off as squeaky clean, it makes it that much worse when their own private shit leaks. Just be honest or say nothing. Don't try to be the moral compass. No one in sports is...Except maybe Tom.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016


I wrote a blog the other day saying Trump just isn't fit to be President because of the way he responed to the pussy grabbing video. But the pompous way men are talking about the comments has hit a point of absurdity. Now people are saying no man has ever spoken such filth. That's ridiculous. Judd Appetow tweeted yesterday that he doesn't know any man who has ever talked about women like that, especially on camera. I would suggest he watches a couple of my favorite comedies. Knocked Up and 40 Year Old Virgin. Maybe Who produced those again... I guess Judd forgot the line, She was hurtin' for a squirtin' was uttered in one of his films. And maybe he protested Seth Rogan responding to the line, There's something wrong with her panties, by saying, Yeah they're not in my mouth. I guess Judd didn't sign off on those lines. And since he knows NO MAN who would even think those things, he's never met Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg.
Look, I think Trump sounded like a meathead in that video. But that's what guys are when they're talking shit. We're pigs. I won't vote for Trump because his responses to these controversies has been so awful. I think that will translate poorly as a President. But people get crazy with trying to paint him as a complete maniac. We all know he never said all Mexican's are rapists. Yet it's still reported as fact. And now this poor sap Congressman in the video attached tries to defend context but was too stupid to do it.
The interviewer said I like raping women multiple times in this short clip. How does that not prove there is a context it can be said. This Congressman wasn't the man to articulate the point, but he did have one. Context it everything. And talking shit when you're too dumb to realize your mic is on is one thing. Actions are another. And creating this hypothetical quote that YOU came up with is cheap and unfair. There's plenty of reasons to go after Trump. It's sad the liberal media resorts to misquoting, lying and taking out of context. I don't even really like the guy. But I'm sure they'll force me to defend him again.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016


I don't know if anyone likes Nancy Grace. I assume she was able to keep a show on the air for 12 years because it was just hate porn for people who like to scream cunt at their television. So I was happy to hear this opportunist pig throw a little hissy fit and walk out on Jim and Sam this morning. I was a little annoyed they were pleasant to her when she walked in until I realized if you want a guest to sit own you can't just point and boo as they walk in the door. The best part is, they didn't ask anything outrageous. It's all shit people have criticized her for in the past. She tries to capitalize on tragedies and make cute, catchy hashtags out of them. Having to listened to Jim Norton for years, I knew she didn't stand much of a chance when she questioned his preparation. Norton's a very good interviewer and there's a difference between being unprepared and just not knowing part of a story, at times. Best line of the clip was at the end when Jim said, it's not like we're gonna kill ourselves after the interview. A reference to the 2 people who actually did kill themselves after being interviewed by Nancy Grace. Also Sam Roberts is pretty big in the WWE world so for her to questioned who he's talked to was pretty silly. If a former prosecutor couldn't handle the questioning of a comic and a radio guy, she probably made the right call getting out. Good job boys. The time to beat for a guest walk out is 12 minutes.

Monday, October 10, 2016

The 2016 Red Sox. The Most Frustrating Team Of My Lifetime

This team has been one gigantic pain in my ass. Right from the start they had to suck me in. I loved the additions of Price and Kimbrel. I loved that they made the bench very lopsided by plopping Sandoval's ass on it Opening Day. Betts and Bogaerts were the most exciting young guys they've had in years. And I really wanted David Ortiz to go out right. Then they start off a little slow but by the end of May the Mass Pike needed repairs from the bombs they were launching out there. But I forgot the golden rule I learned many years ago. Never go home with hope.
I'll work my way up the list of grievances. First, the inconsistent offense. If this team could've picked and chose where they used their runs, they would've clinched home field in July. There were games I thought the MLB may institute a mercy rule. Then they'd follow that up with a 1-0 loss. They've got 2 MVP candidates, 3 guys with 100 RBI's and 4 All Stars yet there were times where I would've been as productive with runners in scoring position.
Then there was Craig Kimbrel. I've never had the pleasure of a guy so talented, make me so nervous. All in all he didn't have an awful year by any means. But just for my heart, he was difficult to watch. Every time out there's a walk or a couple hits. And god forbid it doesn't fit the exact criteria of a save. In a non-save situation, it's as if on his way out of the bullpen he was told he has to shoot free throws. It's like he doesn't understand what sport he's playing in a tie game.
Then there's the human shrug. Credit to my man Big Jim Murray for nailing this duds essence early on. There is no guy who's considered an ace with less passion or competitive fire. Even when he pitched well he was allergic to leads. The offense would spot him a run, next inning, bomb. Like clockwork. And it truly had to bite my own arm to channel the rage I felt when I listened to this mope speak. His leadership qualities rival that of a chubby, emo high school girl. He has the pizazz of a shoe. Jon Lester would have to give up 34 runs before giving up an out in his next postseason game and Price's playoff ERA would still be worse. Glad we made that trade-off.
Then there's the king of the buffoon's, John Farrell. Every move this idiot made was wrong. Other than Jess Moran, who is only okay by the way, this numbskull hasn't made a smart move since he's been here that wasn't painfully obvious it had to be done. Every in game decision he makes is wrong. Twitter is a wasteland of 2nd guessing but I've never seen such accurate 1st guessing in my life. They've won a World Series and 2 divisions despite this dope. And sadly that will completely neuter John Henry and prevent him from growing a set and finally firing Farrell. The Red Sox did not get swept in the playoffs because of John Farrell. But he did his best to be a big part of it. Putting Brock Holt in the 2 spot, after Bogaerts had been there all year, then pinch hitting for him being the one that annoyed me the most. But everyone has different tastes. Pick your favorite.
The saddest part of all of this was it spoiled David Ortiz's last season. The dog and pony show put on at every park meant nothing to me as a fan. I'm sure it was nice for Ortiz but nothing like a 4th ring would've been. Sadly he was on a team that didn't show a lot of heart for most of the year. There were far too many moments it just felt like a lifeless team. Ortiz deserved better. But it is what it is. To David Ortiz, it's been a pleasure. To everyone else, pull your head out of your asses for 2017. The young talent on this team is too good to waste.

Donald Trump Just Can't Be President

Before I bash this complete buffoon, I'll step down off my high horse for a second to say this. Guys have all talked shit. Men are, in fact, pigs. The amount of douchebags I've heard say shit like this is endless. They're not rapists. They're just meatheads whose dad's taught them if you have a real emotion you're queer. I could actually make the argument that that these type of comments are more homophobic than sexist because it's usually just guys so terrified of coming off as gay that they need you to know they love the pussy.
My real problem with his comments are how he responded to the outrage. I'm the least PC guy in the world. And if he was getting fired from his TV show for saying this, I'd defend them. Because while I hate guys that NEED to let you know what guys they are, I also know I talk shit too. And I think the market should dictate whether someone has irreparably damaged their brand, rather than the PC Mafia. But this guy wants to be President. It's tough for me to , not only wrap my mind around having a President that talks about just walking up to women and grabbing their pussies. But also responded by calling it locker room talk. His kids do a better job at explaining his points than he does. It's disgraceful that Republican candidates that have spent a career in politics lost to this ape. I was all in on Trump taking a shit on the way politics is run. But I just don't think we're ready for a man dealing with foreign leaders who would be considered a bit of a douche, even at the Gronkowski dinner table.

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Racist Boston. The Last Group It's Cool To Stereotype


It's true guys. Everyone in Boston is racist. We're all drunken Irish thugs who fight, puke in the street, wear green and exclude others. Strange that most of my neighbors in Dorchester are black. I'll have to talk to the board and see whBetts. And o let them in. At least the link I attached is yet another article accusing Boston of being this type of place. America has taken out it's hatred for our racism on Tom Brady.
Let's ignore the facts for a second. Put out of your mind that the city was filled with blubbering babies during David Ortiz's retirement ceremony Sunday. Pretend a few miles own the road, the Patriots starting QB was white. I won't tell you that I have friends that name their dog after Mookie Betts. And we will assume that when Paul Pierce will be boo'd heavily when he comes back for his last game at the Garden. If we completely erase the last 20-30 years, then you've got a hell of a point.
To Jeff Pearlman's point, that the rest of the country thinks of Boston as a racist city, it's not because they had a bad weekend here. It's because race baiting articles like this are continuously written. It's because 40 years ago, they were bussing kids into the city and Tom Yawkey did his best to keep the Red Sox white. There was a horrible time for racism throughout this entire country. Thestigma never really left Boston and that's got a lot to do with the media.
Now, as a white guy, we have to sa this now. I've never lived a solitary second as a black person. Probably never will. So I don't know what it's like to live here, from that prospective. And I've only lived in this state, so I can't say what it's like anywhere else either. But two things I can say are absolute fact. The rest of the country hates Tom Brady because he's been to 6 Super Bowls. They hate him because he has a supermodel wife. They hate him because he plays for the the evil mastermind, Bill Belichick. They hate him because he's the greatest quarterback of all time and he's not theirs. It's got nothing to do with the Red Sox dragging their feet signing Pumpsy Greene. I also know that this was a shit place for guys like Bill Russell to play, which is despicable. But by comparison, the way Kevin Garnett was treated here would suggest times have changed. If you're white, black or a Martian from another galaxy, you will be aored if you help a team win a championship here, you'll be beloved like nowhere else in the country. Now if the race baiters need something to hang on to, I don't think the Bruins have ever had a black captain. Although, I'm no hockey scout, but I'm not totally sure that's their fault.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Baseball Is The Best Playoff Sport

I feel the need to spread the word on how good the MLB postseason has become. Baseball is probably my number 1 sport to watch. But I do understand why fewer and fewer kids are into it. It's fucking boring. I mean, every night there's a game with some horses ass on the mound tugging his jersey and adjusting his hat. There's way too many games which will never change because the owners are greedy. The players run the sport which makes it impossible for managers to have any control. And above all else, it's impossible to get the Twitter generation interested in a 3.5 hour meaningless game in May. But the postseason has become a great product that too much of the worl is missing.
I think everyone's instinct is to vote hockey for best postseason sport. But baseball is a sport that manages to filter out all the shitty games in the postseason which is so impressive because there's SO many.
All the old school guys argued that the Wild Card game shouldn't exist but it's added an element baseball has never had. It's always been rare to get a baseball game with the feel of a game 7. The Wild Card games are great, even for casual fans because you can jump into it for 1 night. That's why football's been so popular.
So the basic reason baseball is the best postseason sport is because they turn chicken salad into chicken shit. I love baseball. I've watched more baseball than I ever have. But as a fan it's annoying that they can't see their own problems and fix the extremely simple ones.

PS. There's also the sound of the crowd when there's a home run hit on FOX. I don't know what it it but it gets you fired up. I can't be the only one who notices that. Maybe I'm Charlie Day in the mailroom losing my mind. But listen closely and tell me if you notice.

Pros And Cons Of Smashing Your Phone

This weekend I went back to my old stomping grounds, Westfield State, for Alumni Weekend. So when my phone smashed everyone assumed it was in some grand, booze fueled episode. Sadly the whole story was it slipped into my friends couch and cracked on the reclining mechanism. Drunk Mike thought he could put the engineering degree he gave himself to use and fix it. Sober Mike was threatening legal action on my friend, the property owner and Bob's Discount Furniture for allowing this tragedy. So for a couple days I ws without a phone. So I started noticing certain things that weren't so bad about being cut off from civilization.

PRO-I can't send drunken text messages. Drunk Mike thinks if he wants to text a girl, he can spit out the most beautiful poetry ever put to text. In reality, it's either complete nonsense or self loathing idiocy. Keeping that noise bottled up will ultimately lead to my insanity, but at least no one has to read it.
PRO-I'm not expected to do anything. Anyone that needs to get ahold of me, OOPS, sorry no phone. Even though I have a new phone, I can ride this excuse out for a few days and just tell people I never heard from them. Phone is broken is an excuse that can't be questioned.2

CON-I'm completely cut off from any news. If we were overtaken by ISIS, unless it happened in my yard, I'd have no idea. Without a phone I forgot the world existed.

CON-Dealing with the phone company. I sat in the ATandT store for 2 hours because I'm not an authorized user. It takes less work to buy a ticket to get on an airplane and fly to another country than it does to give a company money for their product.

CON-I lose all my contacts. It will take a bit to get all my friends back in my phone and there are some people I'll just completely lose contact with.

PRO-I lose all my contacts. Now girls that have wished for years they never gave me their number when I text them at 2am on a Saturday, their wish was granted. They're now a hazy memory to me. Which they were to begin with.

So my message today is, break your phone every so often. It can be a nice vacation from dealing with people. But Just make sure you don't have to go anywhere, call anyone,or access your finances.

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Goodbye David Ortiz. The Greatest Red Sox Player Of All Time

Set all the sappy, NESN produced nonsense aside. Despite the montages set to funeral music, David Ortiz isn't dying. But even for a stone hearted, vacuum of emotion like me, this is a sad weekend. As a 25 year old, I only barely remember him not being on the Red Sox. So above all else, this is a real dagger in the heart for my childhood. Now half the team is younger than me. But this in't the time for my quarter-life crisis. It's a time to send off the greatest Red Sox player who ever lived.
The old folks can have Ted Williams if they want. But he never won a World Series, spit at the fans, barely had to face any non-white players, and now his heads in a freezer in Arizona. I kid because I love. Nothing but respect for Teddy ballgame. But what David Ortiz did for this franchise is so far above hitting .406. He turned a fan base of lovable losers and miserable pricks into winners. And while, in a way, I miss the days of chanting Yankees Suck as they're 12 games ahead of us in the division, champagne tastes a lot better. And baseball may be the toughest sport to carry a team by yourself but the 2013 World Series was the closest I've seen to it. And the 04 ALCS goes without saying. The guy is a straight up winner. Something baseball fans in Boston didn't recognize before he showed up.
The DH argument is bullshit. Don't invent the position if you refuse to acknowledge the guys playing it. The only real question about his career is steroids. And that's silly. I'm not one of these guys who will claim we don't know what he tested for. It obviously wasn't Flinstones vitamins. But it was on a list that contained 80 percent of the league. The fact that Bonds and Clemens aren't in the Hall Of Fame is a disgrace and I hope that doesn't hold Ortiz back. But something he has over those guys is his current play. He's maintained success in an era that everyone seems to think is completely clean of PED's. I have a theory that they're back in baseball but that's for a different day. Steroids are something I just don't care about and the fans who throw that out as a knock on Ortiz should look in the mirror at the guys they've rooted for.
The guy is clutch unlike any other. He's had the greatest final season, mabe of any professional athlete ever. And in a town that has Tom Brady, he still may be the most universally well liked guy here. So before my childhood officially dies, let's get David a 4th ring.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Gary Johnson Is A Horses Ass

This jackass might has well have just pulled a George Costanza and mumbled something into his hand. I was so ready to vote for this dope. If there was ever a year for a third party, it would be now. We have a circus clown and a rabid dog running for President and this numbskull is making them look good. Look, I don't know what Aleppo is either. I'm not even positive I'm spelling it right. But people know me best for losing at ping pong and jerking it in a gas station bathroom. So we're equally qualified to be President.
This election, for all it's had, has been missing one thing. An idiot VP candidate. Maybe Gary Johnson is trying to fill that void. Chris Matthews sounds like he was talking back stage and saying, watch this I'm gonna fuck with this guy. He asks for ONE foreign leader. Which again, would take me a few minutes. But a Presidential candidate should be able to come up with one quicker than my 85 year old grandfather trying to name current Red Sox players. Eh who's the black fella in the outfield.
This boob had such an opening. It was like the high school football games where the defense let's an autistic kid score a touchdown. The difference is, when Gary Johnson saw that gap open, he tripped on his shoelace and tore his ACL. So it looks like I'm voting for no one again. One last word of advice for Gary. Next time, when you don't have a clue how to answer something, remember the golden rule. It's not a lie, if you believe it.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

New B-Squad with Blind Mike

So Producer Jack fucked up and deleted all our previous shows. For now, check out the brand new episode, Mike On Drugs. We'll get the older episodes up soon if you want to check those out. This weeks show the boys discuss seeing Robert Kelly in Boston, going out, experimenting with drugs, and get into sports and the election.

The End Of Opie And Jimmy

About 3 years ago, one of the most popular radio shows of all time, and my personal favorite, was ripped apart with the firing of Anthony Cumia. This week, the final limping leg was snapped off and the historic remains were buried when Opie announced that Jim Norton will continue to do mornings with SiriusXM. And the Opster spears to be looking for a new gig. He announced this news on his YouTube channel along with the fact that Jim would be joined by the very talented Sam Roberts. The boys got to respond this morning.
Jimmy started by noting that it would've been nice if he could've announced his new deal on his terms rather than hear it on Opie's YouTube channel. He went on to discuss a lot of things the fans already knew about some of the differences they were having. He added the new detail that Opie was trying to have Jim's day on the show reduced to 2 or 3 days a week. This seemed to bother Jim, as it would anyone, and he mentioned that he knows he is funny on the radio and didn't feel like it was right that he was apparently being phased out.
As for Opie's announcement of the Jim and Sam show, both guys claimed that isn't official yet. Jim finally signed his new SiriusXM contract last night but the details on the new show haven't been worked out. They both mentioned they didn't like the notion that Opie put out there, that they were sharks in the water just waiting to get rid of Opie. Opie was the one phasing Jimmy out and Norton pointed out that neither guy was enjoying doing radio together. Sam Roberts showed his gratitude for everything Opie has done for him, but also metioned they haven't had much of a friendship since Anthony left the show. And the last noteworthy comment came after the discussion. This might be the fanboy in me reading into things. But they went on to talk about Tump wouldn't admit to sniffling during the debate Monday night. Jim added that it's very frustrating to deal with someone who can't admit they're the problem. Either a nice jab at Opie, or total coincidence. Prior to that Jim said he didn't want to be on the same channel as Opie so there would be no chance of Opie having any control over him. When a caller suggested Jim call and reach out to Opie, Jim expressed 0 interest in the idea.
Personally I'm very excited for the Jim and Sam show. They have great chemistry together and Sam has a great understanding of the direction Jim is going and knows how to navigate with him. As for Opie, I'm glad he's done. He's taken a lot of shit from Opie and Anthony fans over the years. Some undeserved, some very well deserved. The guy built the 2nd greatest edgy talk show of all time. Without him, Anthony may still be in an attic knocking tin and who knows if Jimmy would be at the level in comedy he is now. Between the show itself and the comics they introduced me to, I've gotten more hours of entertainment from O and A than any other 1 thing. They had Burr and Louis CK on before anyone knew who they were and have had some of the best voices in comedy from the days of Norton, Di Paolo, Patrice O'Neal and Colin Quinn all the way to new guys like Mark Normand and Pete Davidson. But the guys personality off the air has driven away now two brilliant radio personalities and by all accounts, fair guys to work with. On The Anthony Cumia Show on CompoundMedia.com Anthony said that years ago, Opie didn't want Ron Bennington on their channel who is a hilarious guy. His lack of confidence and need for attention was getting in the way of the product. Opie would often respond to criticism by saying the show has passed you by. But I think the real problem was the audience has passed him by.
I'm excited to hear what Jim and Sam do together and I hope this opens the door for Jim and Anthony to work more together. I've subscribed to Anthony's show since SiriusXM fired him and he does a great show on his own. As for Opie, I don't know what he'll end up doing. But for now brother man, your mom's box.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

John Farrell, 2 Time Division Winner

Not to JUMP to conclusions, but John Farrell is about to win his 2nd division in 4 years. Now this guy is a real straight shooter with Manager of the Year written all over him.
Maybe this means Farrell is some type of misunderstood genius. Or more likely, it means baseball managers just don't matter that much. But it can't be denied. Under Farrell's watch this season, everyone's TPS reports are in and they've been playing unbelievable. Especially the last month.
But I hope everyone understands what this means. He ain't going anywhere. And if they win the World Series, god help us. He'll be here until John Henry decides to call him a drug addict and kick him out the door. But we're going to have to tolerate this horrible in game managing for years to come now. Especially since it doesn't look like these kids are going back to last place for a while.
So we'll have to continue having the puzzled Peyton Manning face on as he brings in Kimbrel for 8 pitches in a blowout or completely forgetting what sport they're playing in an NL park.
So Joh, all I ask is this. We're gonna need ya to go ahead and stay out of the way. Accept the accolades and let this team win a World Series.
Oh and as far as putting Pablo Sandoval on the roster, he's a bare minimum flare guy. For example, look at Mookie, he wars 37 pieces of flare. But if you want a 15 piece of flare guy to ruin the chemistry, that's up to you.

I Was On Drinks N Thinks Episoe 20

These guys do a YouTube show that seems to do pretty well. They're 2 brothers and a best friend that drink and talk shit. They asked me to do the show and I had fun doing it. There's some choppy video on my end. Totally my fault. My internet sucks. Blame Comcast. Check it out.

When Did Donald Trump Become A Racist?

How did everyone know Trump was a racist before me. I tweeted this thought last night and everyone told me I wasn't paying attention. Where were these people? How was this racist monster allowed to have a primetime reality show on a national, liberal network? Who gave this modern day slave owner the ability to run the Miss America contest for decades? And how come this great oppressor wasn't stopped from slapping his name on giant buildings in the biggest city in the country? But I guess that's not fair of me. All of these astute observers were writing letters to NBC and boycotting the network. Obviously none of them ever watched the Miss America pageant out of disgust. And I have no doubt those people were outside Trump towers, protesting this bigot. And I know none of them would ever live there.
Look, Donald Trump's a boob. He's an ego-maniacal, attention whore. But unless you've redefined the term racist, he doesn't fit it. He says dumb shit and he also says things that have been things wildly taken out of context by the media. And some of those things, unfortunately, get the ignorant, true racists all fired up. But to suggest all people that vote Trump are RACIST is outrageous and the same type of prejudice, thoughtless generalization people accuse Trump of making.
I'm not voting for Trump because I'm not voting for either candidate. But what I like about him has nothing to do with a deep seeded bigotry. I like that Trump represents a private citizen coming in and stepping all over career politicians. They didn't know how to handle him. If we had more of that, we wouldn't get the same retreads in office who know how to play politics rather than get anything done. He's a symbol of shaking things up. Which is why I'd vote Libertarian if Gary Johnson wasn't a propeller hat wearing dope.
We now use the term racist to shut people down. It takes away from people who have and still do endure true racism. By shouting racist from the building tops, people are only making the term meaningless. Once reserved for the truest form of scumbag, it is now thrown out to anyone who doesn't use the right term or makes a joke on Twitter. So maybe it's my fault for not realizing Trump was a diabolical racist years ago. Or maybe we just changed the definition.

Sunday, September 25, 2016

RIP Jose Fernandez

I don't want to be one of those people who uses a tragedy to draw attention to themselves. That's not why I'm writing this. I didn't know much about Jose Fernandez. I knew he was a stud on the mound. I knew he was one of the few guys I would've like to see the Red Sox trade the farm for. But that's bout it. But s a guy who's only a few months older than Jose, it's just something I thought a lot about today.
I'm certainly not one to say nothing good happens after 2 a.m. It's true, but we've ll done it. I don't see the good that comes from people wagging their finger at someone after the damage is done. But I guess it's to help teach the rest of us. And hopefully it does that.
I guess that's what has me thinking the most. I think a lot about how drastically things can change based on one minor action. If Jose didn't have his start pushed back a day, he wouldn't have been out. But what do you do with that. It's a fact that's just there. Maybe it's just my weed addled brain but that's been blowing my mind today. It's so corny to say but I don't enjoy enough of the moments I have. I lost a friend earlier this year, around the same age, to a very different set of circumstances. But it's just a message to the rest of us to stop bitching about the little things. We won't. We say it every time something like this happens and then forget. But for today, it's something to think about. Rest In Peaces Jose. All the best to your family, and especially your future child.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Are The Red Sox Winning Too Much?

Hear me out. Is it possible that the Red Sox got too insanely hot too early to keep it up through the playoffs? I mean, they've been inconsistent most of the year. Bucholz is their 3 starter and it wasn't long ago I was calling him hot garbage. Price sucked for half the year and sucks in the playoffs. The bullpen has been great but I still cringe when a starter leaves a close game. I'm just afraid the pendulum may be swinging back the other way. They've been SO dominant that it scares me. They will probably have home field advantage which helps them. But it's so much time. They've got another week of baseball before the playoffs start. The only thing that eases my mind is that Porcello, Ortiz, Betts and Pedroia really have never hit a rough patch.
I don't wanna be a buzz kill or look like I'm pulling a Tony Mazz and just trying to get a reaction. I've just felt a rollercoaster of emotions this season. I've never loved and hated a team more times. This Red Sox team is like a crazy girl. When I'm getting what I want from her, it's unbelievable. But when it goes bad I smash my phone and curl up in the fetal position and wonder how I got here. I'm probably being crazy. But when the John Farrell for manager of the year talk started, I had to stop and at least question what world I was living in.