Monday, October 31, 2016


Jamie Collins was traded for, what will essentially be, a 4th round pick. I'm going to skip the part where I call Belichick an idiot who doesn't know what he's doing, then in 3 months realize that I'm, in fact, the idiot for ever doubting him. It's happened too many times from Richard Seymour to Wes Welker to Mankins, Revis and so many others. I absolutely question the fact that they couldn't have gotten more in return. The guy was a beast who many, including me, thought he could eventually be the best linebacker in football. But we'll probably soon find that we all overrated him, Bill saw something we didn't, and we're all dummies. The definition of insanity is making the same mistake over and over and expecting a different result. I'm done making the insane decision of doubting Wild Bill, when he makes these seemingly ridiculous moves. The only thing it makes me wonder is, will the GOAT be next.
Jamie Collins is not Tom Brady. I'm not making that comparison. He's still the best guy at the most important position in sports. But when you look at the list of guys that everyone among fans and media still had a lot left, but Bill saw they didn't, what makes us think he views Tom any differently. To us he's a God that can't be touched. He's an adult man who wears Ugg's and eats avocado ice cream and we still admire him. He's a man who inspired a year and a half social media assault on anyone with the letters E-S-P-N in their bio, just for questioning him. He's a man with a jaw so chiseled...sorry, I'm getting myself worked up. Anyways, point being, he's all those things to fans, but Belichick keeps showing us, he doesn't think that way.
Every time this comes up people say, Brady's the one guy. But Jamie Collins is regarded as one of the best linebackers in football. You'll hear that spun differently the next few days, but it's true. Ty Law and Darrelle Revis were at the top of the league in corners when they each left the Patriots. Seymour, one of the best defensive ends, Welker, the best slot guy and so on. My point is, if this maniac/genius has made a decision on what he thinks Jimmy G is, we may be witnessing the final year and a half of Tom Brady. .
Maybe I'm overreacting but after last year, I thought Jamie Collins would be the centerpiece of that defense for 10 years. No way they'd let that guy go. But as most people do, Bill saw something I didn't. It seems silly to think a guy like that cares about the sentimental value of letting Tom finish his career here on his terms. You can call me an idiot if you want but really I'm a sage hero, trying to ease you into a life without Tom.


Kirk and Callahan's interview with Tim Hasselbeck

The media, as a whole, is terrible. Things are constantly misreported and under-researched constantly, for the sake of being the first to report the story and sensationalizing. I believe that was Tim Hasselbeck's point. Here's where he went wrong. Instead of attacking the reports, he came off as attacking Molly Brown. He seemed offended by the fact that Kirk, Callahan and Mut had the audacity to believe her and the reports that are out there. This idiotic blogger made a point in two sentences that he stuttered and stammered around and was never able to get to.
I may be giving Tim too much credit in thinking that was his point. A lot of the fans seemed to think he was tap dancing around calling Molly Brown a liar. And with the vague, incoherent answers he gave, it's hard to say he wasn't. I do understand that in our PC culture, it's hard for a guy, especially an ESPN employee, to say, hey maybe she's lying. Because even if you have facts to back you up, you'll be portrayed as a sexist victim shaming bully and it will probably cost you your job. But by saying the things in this interview, he basically did say she's lying, while still managing to look like a coward by not being honest or defending his point.
He did nothing to help himself in this interview. He took a side of the argument it's very hard to win with. He did it half assed and without offering any facts we weren't aware of. And he came off as a guy defending his brother's buddy, rather than looking into what really happened. You can't just paint a picture of us buying into a lie and you knowing facts if you're too scared to bring them up. It was basically a high school argument where Kirk and Callahan hit him with facts and Tim basically responded, Oh you think so huh.
It was weird to listen to. And I think the guys did a very good job of not moving on and forcing him to answer things he just wasn't willing to. It will be interesting to see if he gets any heat for it. And I do want to be clear. As awful as I think Tim sounded in this, I'll absolutely defend his right to say it and keep his job. I can't imagine it would get to that level but it's happened to people for similar types of statements, so ya never know. But it was definitely interesting radio. Give it a listen. Link is above if you didn't notice. I like to help out my blind brothers.

Thursday, October 27, 2016


SOURCE-In greater Boston, Mort was placed on the Deflategate enemies list alongside the likes of Kravitz and league apparatchik Mike Kensil. “His reputation is shattered,” WEEI’s Kirk Minihane wrote in a typical bazooka blast. Florio said of Pats fans, “I don’t expect them to ever believe anything the guy ever says again.” Mort remained Zen. “He was very calm about all this,” Schefter said. “If that were me, I would have been a basket case.”
Mort’s cool began to melt only when he started to get a number of death threats. “What bothered me is we’re in an era where if your wife goes onto social media, she basically reads that they want you to die,” Mort said. “Even after I got cancer, I got some death wishes.”
This isn't an attack on a sick man. As a human being, I hope Mort is well. But as a reporter, he fucked up. I don't like this spin that Patriots fans went own to the chemo ward and kicked rocks at him. Deflategate started, BECAUSE OF MORT, long before he announced his diagnoses. And maybe this is the fault of the writer, but he used this story as a chance to play the victim. And good for him. If I were in the spot, I'd be rolling out in a wheelchair with a Teddy Roosevelt quilt over my legs, just to shame all the dicks that came after me. But the thing that bothered me was the constant over dramatization of the term death threats.
An asshole, anonymous Twitter egg saying, I'm gonna kill you, is not a legitimate death threat. People don't publicly confess to crimes before they go through with them. What those are, are hyperbolic douchebags with a lot of time on their hans. I have friends and relatives that claim they're gonna kill me every time I speak. And those pussies haven't done a thing yet. The type of maniac that would act out a murder over a football report isn't going to give you a head start.
Patriots fans, me included, reacted harshly to Mort's fuck up. And anyone with a functioning heart felt, at least a little bad the day he announced he had cancer. But normal people laid off at that point. I'm tired of SkankHunt69 being lumped in with regular people. If you use a fake name, your tweets shouldn't be included in a report on CNN. Our society responds to teenagers and creeps on the internet as if it's Walter Cronkite telling us Kennedy was shot.
I'm guilty of it too. Someone will call me a blind fuck or tell me I'm an idiot and I'll actually argue with them. Then I look and realize I'm arguing with someone using Mel Gibson as their Twitter picture with 17 followers. It is a strange world we're living in and a lot of people don't know how to handle it. But there have been 0 cases of @DeeeezNutz following through on beating anyone's ass. Until then, let's relax with worrying about these helf hearted death threats.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016


SOURCE-Left-wing students at the University of California, Berkeley are protesting again. This time, however, these students are calling for “safe spaces” for transgendered people, as well as “spaces of color” at the University (which they already have).

Boy there is no irony in the fact that these snot nosed brats are only harassing white students huh. That's the biggest problem with this generation of college twats. They've become what they think they hate. They discriminate against a group of people, purely based on the color of their skin. The craziest part is that it's mostly white liberals who feel superior to the groups they pretend to be advocating for. It's guilty whites who pander to minorities because they think they need to be coddled. There is no safer space in the history of time for a minority or transgendered person than a college in California in 2016. But these kids need to make noise, even though they have othing to yell about.
Look, white people in this country were terrible for a long time. We don't have the greatest reputation when it comes to race relations. But no kid in college right now helped institute Jim Crowe laws. The answer to everyone being equal is not throwing hate at a new group of people just because they haven't gotten enough of it. By doing that, you're no better than the ignorant assholes you claim to hate. By shaming everyone who doesn't use the adjectives you like or asks questions you're not comfortable with you bring any chance of a progressive conversation to a complete halt.
Anyone who hates someone for their race, gender or sexuality is a true piece of shit. But those people are now in the minority. The good guys are winning. But that's not good enough for these kids. Back in the day, raging against the machine meant fighting for free speech and equality. Now it's word policing and talking down to people. The kids that want to rebel are really just pissy babies who are mad they have nothing to yell about. If your message is to accept everyone, then accept EVERYONE. And save the hate for those who actually deserve it.

Monday, October 24, 2016


I've always known Joe Rogan was the fuckin' man. I listen to his podcast and he has the ability to make me understand kooks like Jesse Ventura. When I smoke weed, I giggle at an episode of BoJack Horseman and doze off. Joe Rogan does it, is able to articulate why it should be legal, and trains in Jujitsu. He was in a 90's sitcom with Andy Dick and is the voice of UFC. He's a multitalented, interesting dude. But I never was huge on his stand up, until today.
His special, Triggered, came out on Netflix last Friday. I just got to it to night and it's by far his best shit. He talks about all the stuff that annoys me but I'm too dumb to articulate. He breaks down the election in a brilliant way. People will say it's dated because when he filmed it, Bernie was still in the race but if you can relax your mosquito attention span for a minute and realize that, it's still completely relevant. He does a lot of what he's best at, pot talk. Not just talking about weed but the type of shit you think about when you smoke. He does a great job of doing what comedians are supposed to do. It's tough to really review comedy beyond funny or not funny, but I just wanted to turn a few people on to it who may have not known it was out.
Bill Burr-I'm Sorry You Feel That Way and Dave Chappelle-Killing Them Softly are my two favorite specials of all time. So using the scale where those are 10's, I give Joe Rogan-Triggered an 8.4. Really turned me around on his stand up.

-UPDATE-I said Teddy Roosevelt instead of FDR. I'm a true moron.

Thursday, October 20, 2016


As a guy that idolized the type of show Howard Stern once did, I look up to him in a lot of ways. One thing I never respected was the complete fraud he's become. He's been that way for a long time. It's just taken a while for people to notice. There's literally a video of him in black face, dropping N bombs at Robin, as part of a bit. He called Ellen DeGeneres a cunt on many occasions. Now he tells her he loves her dancing and won't use certain naughty language on his program. Artie going in on him like this was long overdue.
I was an Opie and Anthony guy over Stern for a lot of reasons. One big one is the gag order he put on them. In the early 200's when Opie and Anthony were number 1 in the afternoons and bashing Stern, Stern fought back. Usually he was able to crush other shows but O and A were talented enough to go back and forth with him. So, instead of allowing a real rival to develop, Howard cried to his bosses. Something he mocked other shows for. The two shows were on different stations at the time but both were owned by CBS. So Howard demanded the company put a gag order on Opie and Anthony, where they weren't allowed to even utter his name on-air. Years later, when Howard finally admitted it after years of denying it he said he was for free speech. But only his free speech.
Before Anthony got fired, the Opie and Anthony Show were also, ironically, doing a bit called the Apology Clock. Where they would see how long they could make it without a phony apology in response to fake public outrage. They didn't make it a day, during that time. If Howard did anything like that, with a larger audience. it would've been a great attack on the PC Police. Instead he became the type of guy he bashed for years. Someone who loved being part of the Hollywood elite. , it was a great to celebrity parties where he's said awful things about the guests he now calls friends.
Artie Lange was a huge part of Howard's show for years. Now he's been tossed aside like Gilbert, Jackie the joke man Martling, Stuttering John and others. Guys Howard used to build the show, then tossed away when he was done with them. Artie was fiercely loyal to Howard for a long time. Hopefully he's not going off like this for any reason other than being tired of Howard's bullshit. Either way it was long overdue.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016


If you haven't heard, about 200 people walked out of this sold out, 8,000 seat, Amy Schumer show. Apparently it was right around the time of this video, when she went into her Donald Trump stuff. The level of pissy child you have to be to walk out of a show you paid for, strictly because someone talks shit about an asshole politician for 3 minutes is astonishing to me. As a guy who has gone to a lot of comedy shows, I'm guessing the average Amy Schumer ticket goes for no less than 50 bucks. Most probably more like 100, face value. So no one accidentally stumbled in there, thinking they were going to a Bill O'Reilly. event.
The saddest thing is the people who walked out are probably the same people who are up in arms when the PC police get on Trump or manipulate his stories to fit a narrative. They want to be able to say whatever they want free of consequence. But, just like the politically correct phonies they hate, they support free speech, as long as it's their free speech. The second they don't like what you say, they cry, stomp their feet and bash you on social media. Believe me, I'm not shedding a tear for Amy Schumer. She's doing fine. But I'm a guy who loves Patton Oswalt even though I don't agree with all of his views. I think Nick DiPaolo is way too far right, but I went to his show and it was some of the funniest shit ever. Jim Jefferies famous gun bit has some points I disagree with, but I'm about to see him live for the 2nd time in a year. If you lean so far one way that you can't listen to jokes about a stranger, you need to reassess what's important.
The big criticism of Amy, and a lot of female comics is, they just talk about sex. They get laughs because it's shocking to hear a girl talk about her pussy. Well here she is breaking out of that and she still gets shit. And this clip wasn't over the top funny or boring. It was interesting and different. And more importantly, it was two and a half minutes. If you're a fan of someone and pay money to see them then jump ship after 2.5 minutes of something you didn't like, you're a disloyal hunk of shit. There's a lot of weird hatred in our culture toward Amy and female comics in general. I never throw out the term sexist when it's undeserved, unlike the vultures in the media. But it is getting into that territory. Someone like Kevin Hart, who is at or above Amy's fame level and in my opinion, not as funny, doesn't get anywhere near the same hate. They're at the same level of overexposure as well, if not more for Kevin Hart. Yet he's celebrated and Amy is shit on. I just can't figure it out.


Well I'm on no sleep Jerry, NO SLEEP. So last night after the baseball game, I reside to my bedroom. Just outside my bedroom window I hear what sounds like someone being raped or tortured. Or as we Dorchester residents refer to it, Tuesday night. But as much as I want to keep up my bad boy, true to the streets image, I have to confess I live in a decent part of town. So I think, that can't be it.
The noise doesn't stop. Now it's about midnight and it hasn't stopped so I put on my fedora and trench coat and do some investigating. What it turned out to be was a motion censored, cackling witch Halloween decoration. Which, If you live out in the sticks where I grew up, it's cute I guess. If you live in the city, you're the kind of psychopath that would instill fear in Charles Manson. I live on one of the busiest streets in town. Every time a car or person pass by or even a heavy gust of wind, I hear the Wizard of Oz flying monkeys scene outside my window.
So as I lay staring at my celling, trying to remember the formula Walter White used to disintegrate bodies, I realize last night was only October 18. There's at least 12 more nights of this nut reeking havoc on the neighborhood. So I start thinking solutions. I could walk over there and smash it. But with my eyes, at night, I'd no doubt trip on something or kick something over and now I'm in fisticuffs on my neighbors front porch in a Hall of Fame white trash scene. I could call the cops. But I hear snitches get stitches. So after I said Fuck da Police, I put on my Dre Beats, oddly enough, and took the route of the coward.
Eventually every coward reaches his breaking point. We always knew I would snap in spectacular fashion. We just weren't sure what would be the driving force. In due time I'll be talking to Bob Saccomana and watching How to build a bomb videos on YouTube. Now in all seriousness, if some rogue neighborhood hero takes justice into his own hands, I'll have a lot of questions to answer. But for a true Patriot like that, it would be an honor to serve their sentence.

PS-These are obviously jokes. You'd think I wouldn't have to say that but with the Mary's in today's society, I'll be accused of witch shaming or being offensive to Halloween enthusiasts. Don't want them to die. I just want them to never sleep again, then kill themselves.

Thursday, October 13, 2016


This is literally the only thing Brady could've done. If he said anything honest about talk in the locker room, the media would've spun it as Brady is a sexist and supports Trump. The only way Brady gets out of this without any media abuse is if he calls Trump a monster. Because we have two awful candidates for President and you're only allowed to support one. These vultures are DYING for Bray to say anything they can pretend supports Trump so they can continue to paint Tom and the Patriots as an evil organization. H e said nothing and it became a story. Imagine if he told the truth.
Here's an example of a liar. I try not to hate LeBron but every time he speaks, phony bullshit spills out all over the floor. To say women never come up in the locker room is a proven lie. For years women in the media have had difficulty being in sports locker rooms because of the harassment that goes on. Now if you want to say you don't talk about grabbing pussies, that's one thing. Even call Trump an asshole if you want. But get off your fucking high horse LeBron. You're a hairless ass. How dumb do you think we are to believe women never come up when you're dumping champagne on them, grinding up on them after winning a championship. If you want topretend you run a team of choir boys,  control your own locker room you fraud.
Either JR Smith moonlights as a plumber or he loves spreadin' around that dick. Look, this isn't that bad. Actually the girl annoys me more if she posted his private messages. But stop lying LeBron. It obviously comes up when you're talking shit. When public figures try to come off as squeaky clean, it makes it that much worse when their own private shit leaks. Just be honest or say nothing. Don't try to be the moral compass. No one in sports is...Except maybe Tom.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016


I wrote a blog the other day saying Trump just isn't fit to be President because of the way he responed to the pussy grabbing video. But the pompous way men are talking about the comments has hit a point of absurdity. Now people are saying no man has ever spoken such filth. That's ridiculous. Judd Appetow tweeted yesterday that he doesn't know any man who has ever talked about women like that, especially on camera. I would suggest he watches a couple of my favorite comedies. Knocked Up and 40 Year Old Virgin. Maybe Who produced those again... I guess Judd forgot the line, She was hurtin' for a squirtin' was uttered in one of his films. And maybe he protested Seth Rogan responding to the line, There's something wrong with her panties, by saying, Yeah they're not in my mouth. I guess Judd didn't sign off on those lines. And since he knows NO MAN who would even think those things, he's never met Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg.
Look, I think Trump sounded like a meathead in that video. But that's what guys are when they're talking shit. We're pigs. I won't vote for Trump because his responses to these controversies has been so awful. I think that will translate poorly as a President. But people get crazy with trying to paint him as a complete maniac. We all know he never said all Mexican's are rapists. Yet it's still reported as fact. And now this poor sap Congressman in the video attached tries to defend context but was too stupid to do it.
The interviewer said I like raping women multiple times in this short clip. How does that not prove there is a context it can be said. This Congressman wasn't the man to articulate the point, but he did have one. Context it everything. And talking shit when you're too dumb to realize your mic is on is one thing. Actions are another. And creating this hypothetical quote that YOU came up with is cheap and unfair. There's plenty of reasons to go after Trump. It's sad the liberal media resorts to misquoting, lying and taking out of context. I don't even really like the guy. But I'm sure they'll force me to defend him again.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016


I don't know if anyone likes Nancy Grace. I assume she was able to keep a show on the air for 12 years because it was just hate porn for people who like to scream cunt at their television. So I was happy to hear this opportunist pig throw a little hissy fit and walk out on Jim and Sam this morning. I was a little annoyed they were pleasant to her when she walked in until I realized if you want a guest to sit own you can't just point and boo as they walk in the door. The best part is, they didn't ask anything outrageous. It's all shit people have criticized her for in the past. She tries to capitalize on tragedies and make cute, catchy hashtags out of them. Having to listened to Jim Norton for years, I knew she didn't stand much of a chance when she questioned his preparation. Norton's a very good interviewer and there's a difference between being unprepared and just not knowing part of a story, at times. Best line of the clip was at the end when Jim said, it's not like we're gonna kill ourselves after the interview. A reference to the 2 people who actually did kill themselves after being interviewed by Nancy Grace. Also Sam Roberts is pretty big in the WWE world so for her to questioned who he's talked to was pretty silly. If a former prosecutor couldn't handle the questioning of a comic and a radio guy, she probably made the right call getting out. Good job boys. The time to beat for a guest walk out is 12 minutes.

Monday, October 10, 2016

The 2016 Red Sox. The Most Frustrating Team Of My Lifetime

This team has been one gigantic pain in my ass. Right from the start they had to suck me in. I loved the additions of Price and Kimbrel. I loved that they made the bench very lopsided by plopping Sandoval's ass on it Opening Day. Betts and Bogaerts were the most exciting young guys they've had in years. And I really wanted David Ortiz to go out right. Then they start off a little slow but by the end of May the Mass Pike needed repairs from the bombs they were launching out there. But I forgot the golden rule I learned many years ago. Never go home with hope.
I'll work my way up the list of grievances. First, the inconsistent offense. If this team could've picked and chose where they used their runs, they would've clinched home field in July. There were games I thought the MLB may institute a mercy rule. Then they'd follow that up with a 1-0 loss. They've got 2 MVP candidates, 3 guys with 100 RBI's and 4 All Stars yet there were times where I would've been as productive with runners in scoring position.
Then there was Craig Kimbrel. I've never had the pleasure of a guy so talented, make me so nervous. All in all he didn't have an awful year by any means. But just for my heart, he was difficult to watch. Every time out there's a walk or a couple hits. And god forbid it doesn't fit the exact criteria of a save. In a non-save situation, it's as if on his way out of the bullpen he was told he has to shoot free throws. It's like he doesn't understand what sport he's playing in a tie game.
Then there's the human shrug. Credit to my man Big Jim Murray for nailing this duds essence early on. There is no guy who's considered an ace with less passion or competitive fire. Even when he pitched well he was allergic to leads. The offense would spot him a run, next inning, bomb. Like clockwork. And it truly had to bite my own arm to channel the rage I felt when I listened to this mope speak. His leadership qualities rival that of a chubby, emo high school girl. He has the pizazz of a shoe. Jon Lester would have to give up 34 runs before giving up an out in his next postseason game and Price's playoff ERA would still be worse. Glad we made that trade-off.
Then there's the king of the buffoon's, John Farrell. Every move this idiot made was wrong. Other than Jess Moran, who is only okay by the way, this numbskull hasn't made a smart move since he's been here that wasn't painfully obvious it had to be done. Every in game decision he makes is wrong. Twitter is a wasteland of 2nd guessing but I've never seen such accurate 1st guessing in my life. They've won a World Series and 2 divisions despite this dope. And sadly that will completely neuter John Henry and prevent him from growing a set and finally firing Farrell. The Red Sox did not get swept in the playoffs because of John Farrell. But he did his best to be a big part of it. Putting Brock Holt in the 2 spot, after Bogaerts had been there all year, then pinch hitting for him being the one that annoyed me the most. But everyone has different tastes. Pick your favorite.
The saddest part of all of this was it spoiled David Ortiz's last season. The dog and pony show put on at every park meant nothing to me as a fan. I'm sure it was nice for Ortiz but nothing like a 4th ring would've been. Sadly he was on a team that didn't show a lot of heart for most of the year. There were far too many moments it just felt like a lifeless team. Ortiz deserved better. But it is what it is. To David Ortiz, it's been a pleasure. To everyone else, pull your head out of your asses for 2017. The young talent on this team is too good to waste.

Donald Trump Just Can't Be President

Before I bash this complete buffoon, I'll step down off my high horse for a second to say this. Guys have all talked shit. Men are, in fact, pigs. The amount of douchebags I've heard say shit like this is endless. They're not rapists. They're just meatheads whose dad's taught them if you have a real emotion you're queer. I could actually make the argument that that these type of comments are more homophobic than sexist because it's usually just guys so terrified of coming off as gay that they need you to know they love the pussy.
My real problem with his comments are how he responded to the outrage. I'm the least PC guy in the world. And if he was getting fired from his TV show for saying this, I'd defend them. Because while I hate guys that NEED to let you know what guys they are, I also know I talk shit too. And I think the market should dictate whether someone has irreparably damaged their brand, rather than the PC Mafia. But this guy wants to be President. It's tough for me to , not only wrap my mind around having a President that talks about just walking up to women and grabbing their pussies. But also responded by calling it locker room talk. His kids do a better job at explaining his points than he does. It's disgraceful that Republican candidates that have spent a career in politics lost to this ape. I was all in on Trump taking a shit on the way politics is run. But I just don't think we're ready for a man dealing with foreign leaders who would be considered a bit of a douche, even at the Gronkowski dinner table.

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Racist Boston. The Last Group It's Cool To Stereotype

It's true guys. Everyone in Boston is racist. We're all drunken Irish thugs who fight, puke in the street, wear green and exclude others. Strange that most of my neighbors in Dorchester are black. I'll have to talk to the board and see whBetts. And o let them in. At least the link I attached is yet another article accusing Boston of being this type of place. America has taken out it's hatred for our racism on Tom Brady.
Let's ignore the facts for a second. Put out of your mind that the city was filled with blubbering babies during David Ortiz's retirement ceremony Sunday. Pretend a few miles own the road, the Patriots starting QB was white. I won't tell you that I have friends that name their dog after Mookie Betts. And we will assume that when Paul Pierce will be boo'd heavily when he comes back for his last game at the Garden. If we completely erase the last 20-30 years, then you've got a hell of a point.
To Jeff Pearlman's point, that the rest of the country thinks of Boston as a racist city, it's not because they had a bad weekend here. It's because race baiting articles like this are continuously written. It's because 40 years ago, they were bussing kids into the city and Tom Yawkey did his best to keep the Red Sox white. There was a horrible time for racism throughout this entire country. Thestigma never really left Boston and that's got a lot to do with the media.
Now, as a white guy, we have to sa this now. I've never lived a solitary second as a black person. Probably never will. So I don't know what it's like to live here, from that prospective. And I've only lived in this state, so I can't say what it's like anywhere else either. But two things I can say are absolute fact. The rest of the country hates Tom Brady because he's been to 6 Super Bowls. They hate him because he has a supermodel wife. They hate him because he plays for the the evil mastermind, Bill Belichick. They hate him because he's the greatest quarterback of all time and he's not theirs. It's got nothing to do with the Red Sox dragging their feet signing Pumpsy Greene. I also know that this was a shit place for guys like Bill Russell to play, which is despicable. But by comparison, the way Kevin Garnett was treated here would suggest times have changed. If you're white, black or a Martian from another galaxy, you will be aored if you help a team win a championship here, you'll be beloved like nowhere else in the country. Now if the race baiters need something to hang on to, I don't think the Bruins have ever had a black captain. Although, I'm no hockey scout, but I'm not totally sure that's their fault.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Baseball Is The Best Playoff Sport

I feel the need to spread the word on how good the MLB postseason has become. Baseball is probably my number 1 sport to watch. But I do understand why fewer and fewer kids are into it. It's fucking boring. I mean, every night there's a game with some horses ass on the mound tugging his jersey and adjusting his hat. There's way too many games which will never change because the owners are greedy. The players run the sport which makes it impossible for managers to have any control. And above all else, it's impossible to get the Twitter generation interested in a 3.5 hour meaningless game in May. But the postseason has become a great product that too much of the worl is missing.
I think everyone's instinct is to vote hockey for best postseason sport. But baseball is a sport that manages to filter out all the shitty games in the postseason which is so impressive because there's SO many.
All the old school guys argued that the Wild Card game shouldn't exist but it's added an element baseball has never had. It's always been rare to get a baseball game with the feel of a game 7. The Wild Card games are great, even for casual fans because you can jump into it for 1 night. That's why football's been so popular.
So the basic reason baseball is the best postseason sport is because they turn chicken salad into chicken shit. I love baseball. I've watched more baseball than I ever have. But as a fan it's annoying that they can't see their own problems and fix the extremely simple ones.

PS. There's also the sound of the crowd when there's a home run hit on FOX. I don't know what it it but it gets you fired up. I can't be the only one who notices that. Maybe I'm Charlie Day in the mailroom losing my mind. But listen closely and tell me if you notice.

Pros And Cons Of Smashing Your Phone

This weekend I went back to my old stomping grounds, Westfield State, for Alumni Weekend. So when my phone smashed everyone assumed it was in some grand, booze fueled episode. Sadly the whole story was it slipped into my friends couch and cracked on the reclining mechanism. Drunk Mike thought he could put the engineering degree he gave himself to use and fix it. Sober Mike was threatening legal action on my friend, the property owner and Bob's Discount Furniture for allowing this tragedy. So for a couple days I ws without a phone. So I started noticing certain things that weren't so bad about being cut off from civilization.

PRO-I can't send drunken text messages. Drunk Mike thinks if he wants to text a girl, he can spit out the most beautiful poetry ever put to text. In reality, it's either complete nonsense or self loathing idiocy. Keeping that noise bottled up will ultimately lead to my insanity, but at least no one has to read it.
PRO-I'm not expected to do anything. Anyone that needs to get ahold of me, OOPS, sorry no phone. Even though I have a new phone, I can ride this excuse out for a few days and just tell people I never heard from them. Phone is broken is an excuse that can't be questioned.2

CON-I'm completely cut off from any news. If we were overtaken by ISIS, unless it happened in my yard, I'd have no idea. Without a phone I forgot the world existed.

CON-Dealing with the phone company. I sat in the ATandT store for 2 hours because I'm not an authorized user. It takes less work to buy a ticket to get on an airplane and fly to another country than it does to give a company money for their product.

CON-I lose all my contacts. It will take a bit to get all my friends back in my phone and there are some people I'll just completely lose contact with.

PRO-I lose all my contacts. Now girls that have wished for years they never gave me their number when I text them at 2am on a Saturday, their wish was granted. They're now a hazy memory to me. Which they were to begin with.

So my message today is, break your phone every so often. It can be a nice vacation from dealing with people. But Just make sure you don't have to go anywhere, call anyone,or access your finances.

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Goodbye David Ortiz. The Greatest Red Sox Player Of All Time

Set all the sappy, NESN produced nonsense aside. Despite the montages set to funeral music, David Ortiz isn't dying. But even for a stone hearted, vacuum of emotion like me, this is a sad weekend. As a 25 year old, I only barely remember him not being on the Red Sox. So above all else, this is a real dagger in the heart for my childhood. Now half the team is younger than me. But this in't the time for my quarter-life crisis. It's a time to send off the greatest Red Sox player who ever lived.
The old folks can have Ted Williams if they want. But he never won a World Series, spit at the fans, barely had to face any non-white players, and now his heads in a freezer in Arizona. I kid because I love. Nothing but respect for Teddy ballgame. But what David Ortiz did for this franchise is so far above hitting .406. He turned a fan base of lovable losers and miserable pricks into winners. And while, in a way, I miss the days of chanting Yankees Suck as they're 12 games ahead of us in the division, champagne tastes a lot better. And baseball may be the toughest sport to carry a team by yourself but the 2013 World Series was the closest I've seen to it. And the 04 ALCS goes without saying. The guy is a straight up winner. Something baseball fans in Boston didn't recognize before he showed up.
The DH argument is bullshit. Don't invent the position if you refuse to acknowledge the guys playing it. The only real question about his career is steroids. And that's silly. I'm not one of these guys who will claim we don't know what he tested for. It obviously wasn't Flinstones vitamins. But it was on a list that contained 80 percent of the league. The fact that Bonds and Clemens aren't in the Hall Of Fame is a disgrace and I hope that doesn't hold Ortiz back. But something he has over those guys is his current play. He's maintained success in an era that everyone seems to think is completely clean of PED's. I have a theory that they're back in baseball but that's for a different day. Steroids are something I just don't care about and the fans who throw that out as a knock on Ortiz should look in the mirror at the guys they've rooted for.
The guy is clutch unlike any other. He's had the greatest final season, mabe of any professional athlete ever. And in a town that has Tom Brady, he still may be the most universally well liked guy here. So before my childhood officially dies, let's get David a 4th ring.